hello x
I hope this meets you well. it’s crazy that the year is ending in a few days.
whew, what a year.
As usual, I’m going to be sharing my year in review with some lessons learnt + resources to help you prepare for the new year.
[ps - this is really long so read this online instead of the truncated version in your email. if you don't care about my year, skip to the very end for the resources that’ll benefit you ]
[pps - kindly ignore all writing errors, t for thanks]
let’s begin ✨️
You can also read my 2021 and 2020 year reviews.
My Year in Review + Lessons Learnt.
So using the 12 areas of life framework;
My health and fitness
My intellectual life
My emotional life
My character
My spiritual life
My love relationship
My social life
My financial life
My career
My life's vision
My quality of life
There is 1 other area that I didn't feel was necessary for this newsletter (My parenting - Not yet a parent so doesn't apply?)
My health and fitness
Rating = 5/10⭐️
This area was good in the sense that I got more aware about my body and the not-so-healthy habits I had. The downside was that I didn’t hack the discipline to follow through with the plans I made.
Exercise - I started and stopped several times throughout the year.
Sleep - hmmm, this one. I have a better sleeping habit than I did in 2020/2021. So progress?
Eating healthy - AlhamduliLlah, this is better. I cook smaller portions of food and I'm more conscious of the coping mechanism of using food for comfort.
My intellectual life
Rating =8/10⭐️
I enjoy learning a LOT! AlhamduliLlah. The only problem i’ve realised is that I sometimes hoard resources ( I have tons of courses and workshops i’ve yet to get to). I’m learning to seek barakah on my knowledge seeking journey - dunya or otherwise.
I was also on a mentorship platform where I was pushed to grow, learn and improve my skills. NGM is literally a gift that keeps giving, ma sha Allah . Shoutout to daddy Giwa, our grand mentor, the amazing mentors and the exceptional mentees!. In this world, there are people full of excellence and half of them are NGM members.
As usual, I read a ton of books this year and lost count (idk how this always happens 😂)
Generally, I thrived in this area of my life.
My emotional life
Rating = 7/10⭐️
I went for therapy in Q1 and unpacked a lot! This year, I was more aware of my emotions, could express them more easily and could manage them better. See ehn, AlhamduliLlah. A lot isn’t making it into this letter but me sef, I know that I tried this year.
I finally let go of the anger i had from 2020, I did things that made me happy, i laughed a lot (inspite of difficult times), I was content (for the most part) and I found something to be grateful for almost every single day.
I made so much progress in this area of my life. Here’s to healing and growing ✨️ 🥂
My character
Rating= 6/10⭐️
I learnt a lot about my character this year.
I learnt how good a person I could be.
And I also learnt how I could be selfish, petty and unforgiving - qualities I don’t like.
Someone offended me in Q1. I was hurt, angry and felt completely misunderstood and I told the person that “it’s Allah that’ll solve it for us on the day of judgement “ YES, it was that bad.
The person eventually apologized and I told them that I forgave them but throughout the year, whenever I would see/hear their name, my whole countenance would change and everyone around could tell that I didn’t like them.
Fast forward to a few days ago, in Q4!, I saw a tweet that talked about how “your character shows in how you deal with people who have hurt you “ I felt attacked. I thought to myself “what does this say about you?” It certainly didn’t say anything good. Who am I not to forgive someone when I want Allah to forgive me?
I’m happy to share that the new status is - forgiven and hoping to forget soon.
This was a huge lesson for me and it took a year to get it, subhanaLlah.
My spiritual life
Rating = 6/10⭐️
The biggest goal I achieved this year was from this area of my life. My relationship with Allah got much better, gosh! I’m so emotional thinking about it 🥺 AlhamduliLlah. I was also more conscious of my identity as a Muslim and I tried to let this translate in my actions. I had some misses but I also had a few hits.
AlhamduliLlah for growth. The goal always is to make Jannah and to do that, one has to live for it.
My love relationship
Rating= 5/10⭐️
Opened up to the real idea of love and getting married this year. In Q1, I went to therapy to deal with all the baggage I was carrying from my parents’ divorce and other self issues. It cost 6 figures and I paid out of my own pockets so you can guess I was very serious about the whole thing 😭
Throughout the year though, I maybe had 3 crushes/attraction to guys that didn’t lead anywhere. Two of them were “taken” - one is getting married soon sef and the third told my friend “I wasn’t exactly his type”
i’m trying to keep it real with you, lol.
People tried to matchmake me and it didn’t work either - the guys just didn’t meet my spec.
Anyway, it’s a solid win that my mindset and outlook on marriage has changed, so there’s that. For finding love, we go again next year.
Two lessons I learnt from this year's experience -. My timing and Allah’s Timing might not be the same but Allah’s Timing is definitely better. Also, dua dua dua.
I’m working on the things I can control (improving myself, living a full life) whilst making dua and trusting in Allah’s Timing for the best spouse.
My social life
Rating= 6/10⭐️
I had a lot of fun this year, AlhamduliLlah. I hung out with some friends, went for some events, met new people.
× I didn’t nurture some of the friendships I had and one really bit me in the behind. i’m still recovering from how much it hurt.
× I made a promise to reach out to my all friends every weekend but I failed woefully with this. It's an habit I really want to build. (Note - when I say all my friends, I mean the close friends and the people highest on my friendship pyramid so I have like less than 10 of them)
× Got closer to my family but there’s still a lot hangups to deal with - some of which are internal.
Definitely room for a lot of improvement.
My financial life
Rating = 2/10⭐️
I realised this year just how terrible I am with money. I didn't have a money making problem, I had a money keeping & spending problem. My lesson for this area of my life is this “you can’t out-earn bad financial (saving) habits”. Something has to change but i’m not yet entirely sure what that thing is.
My career
Rating= 7/10⭐️
AlhamduliLlah, this year I got better clarity on the things I want to do aka my career paths and how they all connect to create my personal monopoly - a niche of one, if you may call it that.
On being a Tech sis - If you’re not a stranger, you know that i’m in tech. Exciting stuff? Yes and No. Yes because tech is exciting and a lot of good can be done . No because to me, everybody was transitioning or going into tech and I was part of that “everybody”. I really dislike following the crowd or doing what everyone is doing.
So I struggled. i didn’t take my product design courses seriously and I definitely didn’t achieve my goal of having 3 projects on my portfolio by the end of the year.
But a silver lining, in the last quarter of the year, I signed up for EverythingNaArt ‘s IG subscribers and it was game changing, omg! I got clarity on EXACTLY what I want to do with my product design skills. It fit perfectly with my niche of one. I’m super excited for the next 12 months and all i’m going to be doing in this field.
School stuff - I’m now in
• my final year studying Physiology at the University of Ilorin, my God all the shege i’ve seen - the most painful of which is a lecturer owing me 20marks that’ll legit shoot my grade up from a D to a B.
• my 7th semester out of 8 semesters studying Psychology at the International Open University. exciting stuff, ma sha Allah.
bi'idniLlah in 2023, i should be done with both schools and I already have an idea what I'd like to study next if I decide to go on this path.
Work - All the various “work” I do 😄
• The LFJ Tribe - We launched our exclusive community and mann, it was a lot of work. we fumbled a lot, I fumbled a lot but my community managers saved me several times (shoutout to Fareedah Agberemi, Tawakalt Owolarafe and Munirah Yaqubu). AlhamduliLlah, we’ve learnt a lot from the experience and we’re using those lessons to be better for 2023. We also created beneficial wholesome content (shoutout to Halimah Awofeso)
• The Muslim Bibliophile - The book club went well, AlhamduliLlah. 46 people collectively read 15+ books that sparked insightful conversations.
• One Thriving Life - I trained 100+ people this year on lifestyle design, productivity and self-awareness, AlhamduliLlah. This newsletter crossed 500 subscribers as well (thank you for subscribing!)
• Mind Conditions Initiative - This was on a burner this year. New plans for the new year, bi'idniLlah!
My life's vision
Rating = 6/10⭐️
Still staying true to the life vision I first crafted in 2018. The vision has undergone a lot of refinement but still the same at the core.
This year, I really tried to live by this vision and most of the time, I was successful. Other times, I realised there was a disconnect I needed to fix. I’ll be taking note of that in 2023, in sha Allah.
My quality of life
Rating= 6/10⭐️
Generally speaking, this year was a good year, ma sha Allah. A lot of ups and downs but then again, that’s life.
~
Of course, A LOT happened this year that didn’t make it to the newsletter. I’m only choosing to share these ones in the hope that you find them relatable and perhaps learn from the lessons.
I'm saying this so you don’t compare your year to mine. You had a year, find the good in it and the bad, try to turn them to lessons learnt. To make this progress easier, use resource #3 on the resources list.
xoxo
~
My theme for 2022 was Abundance & Congruence. The year stayed true to this.
So excited for my theme of 2023: Alignment & Focused Execution.
I’m slowly moving from exploring to laser-focusing on the things I’m sure I want. May Allah make it easy.
{What's your theme for the year?}
10 LESSONS FROM 2022.
Success involves having routines and doing boring consistent work.
We are the sum total of the choices we make - good or bad.
It’s not what you don't have that limits you, it’s what you have but aren’t using/ don’t know how to use.
Sometimes people will disappoint you, it doesn’t mean that they’re bad people.
The power of lists. they give you clarity and when you have checklists you can tick off, dopamine release >
Your environment is one of the MOST important things when you’re trying to build and maintain an identity.
The strength of your character shows in the way you deal with people who have hurt you.
Gratitude journaling can be life-changing. I know because i’m on a 555-day streak.
You can only connect the dots looking backwards. Whatever challenges you’re facing now, I promise it’ll all make sense eventually.
You won’t always feel like doing what you should be doing. Show up anyway. Do it anyway.
Some Short Spiels
on Goals VS Habits
I recently saw a bc on WhatsApp that talked about how setting goals is “useless”
It didn’t quite sit well with me.
i’m ALL for setting systems and building habits but goals aren’t as useless as they’re being made to seem.
Goals provide clarity and give a sense of direction for us.
So please, set goals but set SMART goals.
After setting SMART goals, build systems that’ll make habit formation easy.
on New Year, New Me.
Whilst I’m not a huge fan of “new year, new me”, I understand the need for people to use the beginnings and endings of the year as checkpoints in their lives.
So if you're setting goals for the new year, don’t get discouraged by the jokes and memes floating around .
Just do you.
It all begins with your intentions.
“Every season is one of becoming, but not always one of blooming. Be gracious with your ever-evolving self.” — B. Oakman
please do not get overwhelmed. start with just 1 and move from there, kay?
RESOURCES
(community) TMB Book Club 2023 - Join to get knowledge, tools and strategies from books to change your life + a fun community of like-minded people for support & accountability.
(tool) Draw your year - A more/less list helps you set your intentions for this new year.
(video) 4 Ways to Change your Life in 2023 by Jim Kwik - A very simple system of reviewing your year and preparing for a new one.
(article) The Power of Anti-Goals
(workshop) 2022 Annual review by Khe Hy - A comprehensive and free workshop to reflect on your goals, priorities and most important relationships.
(podcast) How to conduct a powerful annual review with Chris Williamson
(article) The Annual Planning Guide
(tool) Year Compass booklet - With a set of carefully selected questions and exercises, YearCompass helps you uncover your own patterns and design the ideal year for yourself.
(podcast) The Pathless Path: How to recreate your life and career in 2023 - Paul Millerd x Ali Abdaal
(podcast) The Science of Small Changes with Andrew Huberman x Shane Parrish
(tool) 2023 Artist of Life Workbook by Lavendaire - With 152 pages of questions & exercises for self discovery, goal-setting, and accountability, it's a tool to take you from where you are to where you want to be.
(video) The Key Principles to Becoming Your Future Self by Dr Benjamin Hardy
(challenge) 30 Days Future Self Challenge - A 30-day challenge to help you get clarity on your future self.
(tool) FUTUREME -Write a Letter to your future self - This will help you with acknowledging growth & achievements, setting goals for the future, and decluttering your mind to find some headspace.
so there you have it. I hope these resources will be beneficial to you !x
How was your year? I’ve shared a lot, so share with me? I’ll love to hear from you 💜✨️
~
Until next year,
all my love,
Nusaybah xoxo.
Wow. MashaAllah! This is so inspiring ♡♡♡
My theme for 2022 was self development
My review:
- Health and fitness:
I started taking my preventative care seriously and I moved my body a lot. My goal for 2023 is to work on my sleeping cycle and eating healthy (mindfully)
- intellectual life:
I Also read alot this year and I learn content writing, video editing.
- emotional life :
Putting perspective in everything.To switch my perspective in any situation I find myself
- my character:
I learn to be a good person I could be, to not care for what people think of me,to forgive and move on.
- my spiritual life
Alhamdullilah my relationship with Allah improved . I learn to trust Allah plans,His is sufficient for me and the best Disposer of my affairs.
My goal for 2022 was to start attending madrosah and using niqab But couldn't. Alhamdullilah 2023 is a new opportunity for me to get much better. May Allah make it easy.
- my social life
I had alooooot of fun🤩 this year hanging out with friends and family, going camping, met new people. Alhamdullilah
My goal for 2023 is to be more socials and connect more with people.
- my financial life:
Omo 😟 I have a every serious problem with money (making, spending and saving). I started a business this year. My goal for 2023 is to learn how to manage money , track my finances and grow my business
My career :
•In being a content creator: I got clarity on exactly what I want to focus on with content writing and creating
• school stuff
so I struggled with which course to study between business administration and Accounting. Alhamdullilah I being able to make a choice (Accounting)
- Took another jamb this year, changed my school and course, I applied to Lasustech * admissions is going on (remember me in your Dua's🤲🤲🤲)
My quality of life:
This is was a good year, it wasn't perfect and there were definitely low points. But amazing overall. Alhamdullilah
My theme for 2023 is CONNECT AND ACTION
To feel connected with Allah, Quran,myself and to people
(Less thinking more doing). May Allah make it easy.
Jazakumullahu khayran for sharing these resources . Waiting for your next newsletter 🤩🤩* I'm glad I subscribed♡♡♡
WOW. this was soo beautifully written, Allahumma barik. so many gems to take from here !!!